Hey Guys,

I wanted to talk about two things that are near and dear to me in my life, and that's being a Mom and Personal Style.

Since I've had my son Israel , I always get the typical " how does it feel to be a mom ? " , " do you feel different? " , or my personal favorite " how did it feel?" ; "it" being (birth) .  My usual response to that answer is ...." Ummmm it hurt like hell, what you mean !?". I had a c-section you guys and they literally cut me open, so yea, I was in pain sis!

Now, that we've got that out the way, being a mom is the most beautiful experience ever. I would describe it as God literally giving you his endless love on earth because when you see and hold your child, there's just this unending peace that you experience. It's hard to describe, but ladies when the time comes.....you'll see what I mean! OK, so now for the real tea. NO ONE TOLD ME how HARD this thing called "mommying" is. Like, you don't really appreciate sleep until you become a mom, and let me tell y'all, I miss sleeping in on Saturdays until 12 p.m. However, the most difficult hurdle for me was accepting my new body.

I wasn't really blogging yet when I had my son, but I really wish I did a post titled " Things they don't Tell you After Birth". I had no idea how out of whack my hormones would be. I would literally ask myself, " Was I always this crazy? ". Not even that, my boobs were huge and everything in my closet seemed smaller, and y'all know I love my clothes, so this really blew me! So now S*** just got real for me. I wasn't getting enough sleep, I was breastfeeding and pumping every five seconds, trying to nap if I could, and constantly staring at my son to make sure he was still alive....because it's every moms OCD!

Four months in, I'm fat and my face has discoloration ( this is what the hormones did  ). At this point, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror. Now , it  may sound funny, but I knew I really hit rock bottom when I walked into my closet and felt unhappy. I even stopped shopping for myself. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING looked good to me anymore. I then decided that I'm just going to focus on caring for my son, being a good mom, and taking care of my home; because you know, according to society that's what WE DO. Family first, Self Last!

Enough was Enough!

First, I want to say that Postpartum Depression is real. Low-self esteem is real! I didn't know what I was going through half the time, I was just sad. I was home all day with a baby and to be honest, I didn't even have time for myself anymore. One day I woke up and I went to Target to get some diapers. I literally just sat in front of my house and started balling. I couldn't take this crap anymore. "WHY DID YOU LET YOURSELF GO?, I asked myself. Thank God for our moms though, they keep things real. My mom is a Yoruba woman, so you know they have no filter. I went to her house one day and she said, "Kemi what is wrong with you? You are young why are you disgracing me? ", because you know...everything is always about them.

At that moment it was funny, but then again it wasn't funny because she was right. I wasn't looking my best and she knew it...I knew it! As hard as I tried to dress cute, it started to reflect in my personal style.

At this point, I was always reaching for things that were 2x bigger than my size. My jeans were baggy and my tops were baggy. I just thought if I layered so well people wouldn't notice, but I was wrong lol. I forgot what picture I posted on Instagram, but I remember when (@oluwafunmifly) DM'd me and asked me why I was always covering up. I told her straight up, I just didn't feel beautiful.

After that little tragedy.......it was time!

It's OK Mama

I want to tell all first-time moms out there that you guys are doing an amazing job! Some days may be a little overwhelming because our little ones can be so unpredictable sometimes. Know there are good days and bad days. It's OK to be tired, it's okay to get frustrated, ......hell, it's OK to put a little more salt in your significant others food because he thinks it's sooooooooooo easy being home all day with a baby!.... Oops , did I say that?

What I'm trying to say is, don't let anyone question why you feel the way you feel and make you feel like you are crazy. Being a mom is a lot of work.

Accepting the Physical Changes

The one thing I hate about social media is the lies that are portrayed daily about everyday life. You mean to tell me you had your baby yesterday and your body magically snapped back the next day? WOWUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU !

Let's be real, some people actually have really great genes (Teyana Taylor), but don't tell me that you lost all that baby weight so quickly because you " worked out" or " breastfeed". Sis, I saw your a** eating McDonald's 3x a day, just keep it real!

For me, I hated my mom gut and my fat arms. I mean, that's why half my clothes didn't fit me. However, I had to start seeing what I liked about myself. I actually loved my fuller breast and I won't lie...I was loving the new curves lol. As far as my face, I went to the doctor and she told me I should try using this baby cream called California Baby Calendula Cream, it does wonders for dry skin! My skin has felt so much smoother and hydrated since I've been using it. Although it's a baby product, the ingredients are made for sensitive skin. Who would have thought a baby product, but I'm glad something actually worked.

And Then This Happens....

When my life takes a turn, God has a funny way of using people to speak to me, and that exactly what happened after my son turned one this year. My son is older now, less dependent on my boobs, and I started working full time again as an IT Specialist. I was actually relieved to go back to work, even though I missed my son, but I had more time to separate from the whole "mom life" during the day.My headspace was better, but I still wasn't fully "myself". At least I didn't dress how I wanted to feel. One Saturday I did what I do for my clients, I went through my closet and cleared out everything that wasn't me. All the pieces of clothing that I tried to hide behind, I got rid of! I went on Pinterest and started to look for inspiration. One day I was scrolling and I found my girl Leandra Cohen of ManRepeller. She has two adorable twins and  I started following her, not just because of her unique style, but just because of the way she accepts herself and is real about EVERYTHING.To see another mom just slaying like that, but still owning her sense of style truly helped me with my self-esteem and made me more accepting of my new life. I instantly began to feel my sense of style shift. I wanted to start experimenting. I downloaded all my shopping apps again and started renewing my love for fashion again.  Personal style is a struggle, but there is a link between how you feel and what you decide to wear. At the end of the day, do what works for you, and wear things that make you feel good!You can still dress for your new body, heck you have more to work with now, and that's not such a bad thing.

Finally

This is the longest blog I have ever written, but I wanted to be real with you guys. It wasn't until about May of this year that I actually started to feel cute again. I made the decision to be more positive and accepting, but most importantly MAKE TIME FOR ME! That is very important and they don't tell you this at the hospital.

My good friend Angela literally would text me or DM to make sure that I've been taking time for myself and I am grateful for friendships like that. Now, I schedule "me time" it's helped my overall mentality and I'm just a better person. People have been telling me that I'm "Different" now. Yup, your girl is different...I am happier, my closet is looking fly, and I'm enjoying motherhood.

S/o to celebrities like Chrissy Teigan, Serena Williams, and Beyonce for just keeping it real about Motherhood. These celebrity moms kept it real about their journey, both physically and emotionally. I recently read Beyonce's Vogue article where she opened up about her body after having her twins.

" To this day my arms, shoulders, breasts, and thighs are fuller. I have a little mommy pouch, and I’m in no rush to get rid of it. I think it’s real. Whenever I’m ready to get a six-pack, I will go into the beast zone and work my ass off until I have it. But right now, my little FUPA and I feel like we are meant to be. " - Vogue

Ladies read the part where she talks about her pregnancy, honestly read the entire thing. It was real.....and its the truth! ...Here 

So yea, that's how Kemi got her groove back lol. I'm happy and I feel sexier than ever. I'm grateful to God no one looks at me now and says " wow she lost herself after she had her baby". That was my biggest fear. I refuse to ever have that happen to me!

P.S. currently beginning the process of losing weight...PRAY FOR ME! #Squatlife #NoMoreMomGut

See you on my next blog...

xoxo

-Kemi

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